After last week’s overly frilly post, I feel the need to redeem what indie cred I have (which isn’t much, perhaps why I’m defensive about it). Thus, let me indulge the flip side of my girly-girl nature, don my combat boots, and hit my favorite dive bars.

There is an art to the dive bar. It must be dingy, but not depressing. It must have “denizens” rather than customers-and there must be a usual roster of suspects on any given night. It must come by its reputation organically, not manufactured to “feel” urban or crusty. It must be the sort of place you have to think twice about taking parents, visitors to the city, and first dates, lest they re-evaluate their opinions of you and your drinking habits. And lastly, it must have a bathroom that tries to achieve some standards of cleanliness, since that is the sign of honest pride in one’s establishment. If they’ve given up trying to tame the bathrooms, folks, they’ve given up the ghost on a lot of things. So the top three on my In Love With list are (in order of frequency of visits): Five Points’ Upside Down Plaza, Irondale’s Bourbon Street, and Avondale’s Brown Derby.

Familiarity has never yet bred contempt for me at the Upside Down Plaza. Its graffitied walls, eternal smoke haze and subterranean damp combine to make it the real life equivalent of the basement those kids on That 70’s Show were always hanging out in. The cast of characters leans towards young, college and punk. The beer selection is limited, and the potato chip bags are just for display. But it’s the people watching and the fact that I recognize some of the names in the graffiti that keep me coming back, even when I can afford more than PBR.

Bourbon Street smells about the same, but is light years away from the Upside Down Plaza as far as its patrons go. Bourbon Street is far more a neighborhood bar and about as close to a honky-tonk as I’ve experienced this side of Mississippi. The karaoke menu leans towards country, the ladies’ hair is big, and again, the beer selection is limited. This is the bar, however, to hit when what you need is a little Southern love, a few cool brews and someone doing a credible version of “I Never Promised You A Rose Garden” to set the world right.

Last on the list is my new love, The Brown Derby on 6^th Avenue South. It’s an unassuming corrugated metal building-so unassuming I drove past it twice the first time I tried following someone there. The Brown Derby is what Cheers was when it started - a place where they know your name, and cheerfully serve you something other than what you ordered. (I made the mistake of ordering Blue Moon in there one time, and was handed a bottle of some sort of blue Zima instead. I’m sticking to High Life there.) After a few drinks though, the folks are so friendly, the jukebox so well-stocked, the beer so cold, who really cares it ain’t the trendy spot all the hipsters are hitting. It’s just like home, just with, well, let’s be honest…cleaner bathrooms.

Upside Down Plaza 2012 Magnolia Ave South,  205.930.0333; Bourbon Street Bar & Lounge 1568 Cooper Hill Road, 205.957.1006; Brown Derby 3630 6th Avenue South.